I have said repeatedly in this space that I have issues with full-time work and things like writing. At the same time, I’ve struggled with the desire to do well in the job and succeed on all fronts. From day to day, and sometimes even from hour to hour, I’ve thought that the best thing to do is leave the position or that the best thing to do is to muddle through. Consider this another of those moments.
I gave my work four weeks’ notice so they wouldn’t be irretrievably screwed by my departure. They understand why I have to go and have been very supportive. They have also been, to a person, effusive about my successes on the job and how much they like working with me, both personally and professionally. Just yesterday I was called a “great manager” by one of my people.
On the one hand it would seem terrific to know that everyone likes you and thinks you do a good job. On the other hand, it’s a total nightmare because as much as you know that you have to go and as much as you feel it’s the appropriate thing from the standpoint of family, writing and so forth, it’s difficult to turn away from people who want and need you to stay.
So I wavered. I started trying to think of ways I could remain on the job while still covering all the bases. Maybe I could work out the writing thing. Maybe other problems could be solved. Maybe I didn’t have to go if I could find a way to plug the gaps.
The big reason I’m going is not the writing. Yes, that’s important to me, but from a practical standpoint it’s the lack of childcare that put the final nail in this particular coffin. I started thinking, therefore, about seeking out childcare alternatives. These would cost, but I make good money and can afford it… maybe.
Anyway, my wife and I started looking at our options. Daycare is out of the question because my son is too old for that. No daycare takes thirteen-year-olds, even if they’re neurotypical. Add into the equation my son’s disability and there really is nowhere that would take him. They just won’t.
Given that this is the case, we’d have to go with a one-on-one caregiver. I hate to use the word “babysitter,” as it doesn’t really cover all the things these people do, but we’re talking about a sitter who would pick up my son at the bus stop three or four times a week and then watch him for two to three hours until someone could get home and take over. This person would have to be experienced with older children and have at least some inkling of how to deal with kids with special needs. That’s even before we get to great references and all of that.