It’s taken a really, really long time for me to get through the Puppet Master series. Much longer than I intended, actually. My original thought was that I’d knock these reviews out in a couple or three months, checking in with Andre Toulon’s creations every week or so. But I hemmed and I hawed and eventually just forgot completely about reviewing any of them, thus creating a four-year gap between my reviews of the fifth and sixth films.
I’ll say that Curse of the Puppet, the sixth film, did not give me a whole lot of hope for the series. It was cheap and dull and lacking that certain something that makes a low-budget picture palatable. My wife actually laughed out loud at the climax, which was meant to be totally serious, and that’s a black mark indeed. But I didn’t want to let another four years pass before I checked in with the Puppet Master movies again, so I quickly moved on to Retro Puppet Master, the seventh installment in the one-billion-part series.
Continue reading [REVIEW] Retro Puppet Master
Occasionally I can be neglectful of various things on the blog as time or commitments bite into whatever I have planned. This sometimes has the effect of delaying or even totally derailing things like review series. For example, I haven’t done a review in my Year of the Ninja Master review series since 2012, and I have two more books to read. But this one has that beat. I have not done a review for a Puppet Master movie for four years. I got all the way to Puppet Master 5, totally planned on watching the rest of them, and then proceeded to completely forget about the task for the length of a presidential term. Oops.
I’d like to say that my return to the Puppet Master series is a triumphant one, but the fact is that like the series I’m reviewing, it’s not looking good. Coincidentally enough, four years elapsed between the release of Puppet Master 5 and Curse of the Puppet Master, so I guess that’s… cool? I don’t know. All I can tell you with no fear of contradiction that Curse of the Puppet Master is a bad movie.
But aren’t all these movies bad? I hear you asking yourself that even as you read this. Yes, the entire Puppet Master series has a sort of arm’s length relationship with quality and none of the first six installments can actually be considered legitimately good, but some are markedly worse than others. For example, you know of my abiding hatred of Puppet Master II, which is hands down the worst of the bunch so far. When the only positive thing in a movie is a few seconds of Charlie Spradling with her top off, you know you’re in serious trouble.
Continue reading [REVIEW] Curse of the Puppet Master